Reviewer Rank: 479,253!

If you don’t know how an amazon review works, here are the basics. Someone rates a product from 1-5 stars and tells you why they rated it as such. Sometimes, there are subcategories for how fun, sturdy, or educational an item is, but these are pretty useless. Other users can then comment on a review (I never really got this aspect. Consumer reviews are opinions, and commenting on another users opinion seems pointless to me.). You can also mark if a review was useful or not, which makes more sense. Reviews are then ordered from most helpful to least. This is all well and good if you ignore the fact that there is often over 100 reviews for an item, and only about 3-4 are shown in the main page of that item. This means that those 3-4 review will get all the exposure while the other reviews are mostly unread.

As to the content of the reviews that I have seen, they mostly can be put in 1 of 4 categories:

1: Fanboy/Fangirl: Blind love with few details given.

2: Hater: Blind hate with few details given.

3: Joke/troll: reviews that are meant to be ridiculous and funny.

4: Actual reviews: self explanatory (Note: these aren’t necessarily good reviews, just ones that try to be)

Other then those categories, some trends I’ve noticed are that positive reviews are generally much more common then negative ones and long wall of text reviews tend to get more “helpful” votes then shorter ones.

As for my experience writing amazon reviews before this class, I had none. It was a little intimidating at first (actually, it still is). Though you get a fancy badge/tag if you use your real name as your reviewer title, I used Kyuzo “Joe” (Kyuzo is my favorite samurai from Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, and Joe just sounded like a fun name). There is so much stuff on amazon to review that I was overwhelmed as to where to start. I looked around my room and began with random objects. Dave’s insanity sauce and a incredibly creepy doll I keep around to give me night terrors named Yano. After you submit your review, it becomes impossible to edit. I guess you can update it somehow, but I’m not sure how.

The review actually isn’t posted right away. It goes through a……review process to make sure you haven’t broken any of Amazon’s rules. It says it can take up to 48 hours to post, but mine have only taken 5 minuets at the longest. I’ve got 6 reviews under my belt so far (mostly films) with 1 “helpful” and no “unhelpful”. Oddly, while I have seen each of them, I don’t own any of the films I reviewed. I was reviewing the content of the film as opposed to the product. Some may find this “unhelpful”, but that seems to be how most people review blurays on Amazon. If you’d like to read some of the most well written reviews you’ll ever gaze upon in your life, here is a link to my profile page. Enjoy!


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